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Music Controls me!!

I don't think humans can cry because they are more emotionally evolved. I think all animals in the wild who cried just got eaten up.

New Year 2011 eve party

PROLOGUE

I spent the New Year eve at the customary party in my society community centre.

I entered and This Uncle (Let’s call him X.) was dancing like what can only be described by a video of him. But to keep his identity anonymous I have made this humanoid animation capturing his moves.

The people of my building make all New Year celebrations, well, memorable.

WHATEVER THE MIDDLE PART IS CALLED

As thankful as I was that they did not sing ‘kandi pow’(also known as ‘soni de nakhre sone lagde’) in chorus with Bhajhan instruments in the background, Men correcting each other’s ‘sur’ while singing and Women cribbing later on about how the fellow free spirited women’s absence or low attendance in the practice sessions ruined the surreal experience of chanting kaindi pow in chorus, I must say, there was other stuff.

The organisers of the party had asked me to make a mix cd of songs. After 24 hours of work, keeping everyone’s taste in mind, I prepared

My list

And this is what was finally played

Their list

1. Munni Badnaam hui

2. Munni Badnaam hui

3. Sheila ki jaawaa….

(X comes shouting)

X:”Munni ko badnaam karo”

Everyone: Munni! Munni!

Me: (Munni ke bacche)

My Dad could actually not figure which language Sheila ki jawani is sung, as they would not let it go beyond..”I know you like me..bu..”

And

4. Munni all the way

And the worst part is, their cd player was sequential access and we had to fast forward all songs to get back to Munni and everyone became hyper and impatient in its absence.

I mean seriously, while I was making my mix cd, I thought what will the men do in these songs. All the men were dancing and women were standing and clapping (partially because X had stolen the show and all eyes were on him).

I would actually prefer any other the party I have ever attended, even the one where the room started to shake as the guests started dancing (or was it just loud music?).

Hosts: Don’t worry, it happens often. The room was not a part of the building initially and was attached only later on without any foundation like a suspension bridge.

Me: (well, that is a relief)

I probably liked this one because it was funny to see how everyone had put on a brave face to be polite to the hosts. In all fairness, the hosts did have to pay back more than they had bargained for, by saying “lovely! Lovely!” and “so useful!” to the gifts presented by the overexcited guest who made them open her presents there and then (no exaggeration: she even made them click pictures).

Why was I bored at this party?

1. Topic of conversation

A, B, C, and other capital letters are acquaintances and have no other choice but to be there

A: It’s cold, right?

B: I am feeling warm. May be it’s my new jacket.(yay! my bit is done. Now I don’t need to talk for the rest of the night and won’t be held responsible for any awkward silence.)

C: It’s so much colder outside. The heaters are doing their job well here, and it’s a closed place the CO2 keeping it warm.Blah Blah..*Greenhouse effect*..blah blah..*Global Warming*..Blah Blah.

D: How is college going?

E: Fine. You know, today, I caught a fly with chopsticks :D (least appreciated and generally considered eccentric or awkward).

2. Conversations aimed at you

Women telling me “You have grown thin. Start eating fattening things”. Even if I give them the benefit of doubt that they are “genuinely concerned”, it is rude. I don’t go around pointing out to people how fat they are. This is where I fail to understand social protocol. No really, if it were consistent, the conversation would go something like

Fat Woman: you are thin.

Me: You are appropriately named.

I mean, all animals of a species have the same built..but humans have evolved into different shapes and sizes to generate topics of conversation for tea parties and weddings.

3. Munni badnaam hui:

When this song is played if you are not standing or highly drunk then it will ‘lull’ you to sleep. The beat throughout the song is so consistent. 2 to 3 reruns should be enough for an insomniac of the highest order, but, don’t overdo it as it may lead to nightmares.

EPILOGUE

It was already 12, but, since the people did not get to countdown in chorus ten seconds before 12 (as they were high on Munni and lost track of time)they counted down anyway.

The coup de grace moment

Speech by the President of the Society

Him: Blah Blah..*Grand Success.*Blah blah.*3 cheers*

X:Hip Hip

X:Hurray

X:Hip Hip

X:Hurray

X:Hip Hip

X:Hurray

PS-as you must have figured by now, I did not make the video. But, Discovery guys, feel free to sue me. I don’t mind a tiny lawsuit to meet you guys.

The fear of fairness

I had realized pretty early in my life that the World is not fair. It was in sixth standard and my friend was sad that she worked hard for a test and did not get good marks and she said it's not fair and that 'we' had worked hard for it.I did not very good marks either and nodded along, but in my heart I knew that she was correct and I had in fact not worked so hard for the test. What she said got me thinking and I knew she was right and the World is not fair but it generally worked in my favor or so I thought.

Today our marks for a sem were declared and it has been brought up that the marking was unfair. Our class was given way too less marks than the other section of the same branch. Many students have decided to approach the authorities for re evaluation.

There were a number of things that crossed my mind

What if my marks reduce further

What if the teachers get enraged and give us bad marks in the future

What if the companies who come to the campus do not place us fearing we will report them in a similar manner

I was astounded by the corruptness of my thoughts

I did not want the World or the System to be fair. I just wanted more marks.

Anyone who is reading this has an internet connection and can understand english placing him/her above the poverty line. There are people below it. The World is not fair. You know it. But do we want it to be fair?

I don't have a clear conscience to fight. Should I?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I am very selective while making friends and don’t bother to keep in touch either. So, I have very few friends at all points in my life. Now, I have realized that all my friends (except for my immediate circle in college) are either inaccessible (I mean they live somewhere near ‘The Cape of good hope’) or are loners.

Most importantly we don’t have similar eating habits, i.e., I have them and they don’t.

When we step into restaurant: the first words that come out of their mouth

1. I only eat homemade food.

2. I am counting calories (the reason I get a fit every time one of my friends gains a little holiday weight).

3. I am full.

4. I am boycotting the food processing industry for their overpriced rates and tests on animals.

5. I have a fast (dude, was this the only day you could think of to hang out with friends).

6. Friend: (looking at the menu*) hmmm

(half an hour later)

Me: (banging my head against the table) anything?

Friend: let’s go somewhere else**

7. I don’t eat (true story).

There are others like perpetual stomach ailments, germ phobia, and chronic indecisiveness.

This was until a week ago.

Present day

I met an old friend X..she was distressed and we met after a long time (a common friend also joined us). Although X knew what she wanted and there was nothing we had to do, by the end of the day I knew she felt better (and so did we). Just being around the people you love without the fear of being judged is in itself comforting.

The fact remains that I have a countable (by a 4 year old) number of friends (inaccessible and/or loners), but it is also true that they are the people who are special to me (and hopefully I am special to them) and that’s what matters.

In a nutshell, I used to think that the soundtrack of my social life was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY3kqRRzJP0 and then I realized that it is in fact http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sULsXdDqOBo&feature=related

*contemplating laws of nature, ventilation, sunlight, background track and the crowd to calculate the approximate amount of time for which all the people in the restaurant can survive without getting bored in case we get trapped due to some natural disaster and also the chances of survival in case of a stampede

**probably because the estimate of the time calculated in * turns out to be less than the approximate amount of time for rescue to get there

Dooba Dooba

Today, I was bored sitting at home and doing nothing so I decided to go for a walk.Luckily, after a considerable amount of procrastination, yesterday, I charged(the battery of) my mp3 (yes, I am that lazy) and revamped my playlist.For some strange reason I did not remove the song 'Dooba Dooba'.

In the next scene, I was walking in my society courtyard listening to songs and then this song started playing, instinctively, I changed the song (I always did this whenever this song was played for no apparent reason).

I went back to the song trying to contemplate why I kept this song when I never listen to it.I thought it may be because when Mohit Chauhan (the singer of this song) came to our college and sang this song I was utterly delighted, only to realise shortly afterwards that this song was one of the disappointments that day and that I had even commented that the 'Dooba Dooba' guy of our college could have done a better job than him.

It was then that it dawned upon me, it was the 'Dooba Dooba' guy due to whom the song made it to my list in the first place.

Flashback

(two years ago)

I had just joined college and the much awaited (in a way) freshers party was to take place in the evening.All my friends and I got ready and left for the event.On our way to the Auditorium we heard a beautiful melodious baritone voice of a guy singing this song 'Dooba Dooba'.

While climbing up the stairs, the first thing that crossed our minds was that the Freshers' Party had started and someone was performing.Then I reasoned that had it been so, this would have been the showstopper performance and would have been placed towards the end of the performances.As we climbed the voice grew clearer.It had become clear now that it was just a recorded song playing.

And then came the point in my life when my blind faith in common sense ceased to exist.

There stood this guy on the stairs, facing away from me, singing this song without a mic and the only instrument that was playing was a guitar.The guitarist was sitting on the stairs facing him.I wanted him to turn around so bad and stood there in anticipation, not caring that the expression on the guitarist's face was like 'excuse me, can't we get any kind of privacy even on the staircase of a public college?' My friends noticed that I was transfixed and took me to the auditorium saying that he was not practicing for nothing and would obviously perform in the freshers (at that time we did not have any notion of the World beyond freshers' party).

As can be expected he did not feature in the Freshers' Party.I had lost all hopes of seeing his face in this lifetime until one day

(six months ago)

It was the second day of our annual cultural fest.I was in the ground floor of a Computer Science Department when I heard this voice.I was in the middle of something(can't remember what but definitely of the magnitude of balancing delicate glassware on my head) so I could not sprint immediately.As soon as I was done I ran all across the building following this acoustic like Paro in Devdas.Sadly, it ended like Devdas, he was gone by the time I got there.

(present day)

I smiled and disappeared into the dark listening to the close second to the melody that was.