Man : the glory,jest,and riddle of the World

Fact: Humans are animals.

Fact: Humans can think.

I often wonder as to why humans don't behave like other animals? Why are humans encouraged not to behave as animals? One of my theories states that other animals are either highly evolved species or agents sent by aliens, who are observing us to see how the notion of thinking can change the course of evolution in a species.

Humans are allowed choose to be

1. homosexual/heterosexual

2. monogamous/polygamous

3. herbivorous/omnivorous

4. diurnal/nocturnal(although highly discouraged by the progenitors)

The funny part is that scientists are conducting experiments on lab rats to see if sexuality is predetermined or not.

Humans are encouraged to

1. Not be shallow (general standards of beauty are markers of health and fertility (not talking about colour or dressing sense))

2. Protect the rights of all fellow humans (against survival of the fittest)

3. To get themselves vaccinated

4. To wear clothes (no obscenity intended)

5. To use birth control

An explanation of part 2 could be that Kindness is a more evolved trait than intelligence and is more sought after by women as it gives them a sense of security and the part 5 could be to minimize the torture due to population on Mother Earth.

Why has intelligence not evolved out yet?

A Conspiracy Theory: In order to mate with the less intelligent, the more intelligent people decided to use methods of treachery and deceit and made the innocent believe that their offspring will lead a better life being more intelligent.

Why have humans not evolved out yet (in other words why people have kids)?

1. Adult Human Beings want to be kids (ignorant, carefree and blissful) again and it is not possible by any known means. So, they have kids to be able relive those moments (sometimes more literally than figuratively like using kids as an excuse to get on a mini train meant for toddlers).

2. The bad parents: they are frustrated souls who have been yelled at all their lives and have waited desperately to become a parent and be able to yell at somebody.

3. Females produce high amounts of oxytocin in their bodies which are interpreted as ‘Motherly feelings’ by the brain.

4. Some (sometimes both the husband and wife) assume that their spouse wants kids.

5. Some think their genes are a rare mutation which needs to be protected and the species should not be deprived of the gift of their genes.

6. Others think it is upon them to protect the human race from extinction.

Potential fate of humans because of all the thinking they do (also possible explanations of this form of life on our planet)

1. They would destroy the planet, colonize another planet and deprive it of all the resources and then hop on to another planet and repeat the same process.

2. The IQ of machines with artificially created Intelligence will exceed that of humans and humans will gradually evolve out or would integrate with the machines to form humachines.

3. Humans would realize that all we can actually do is observe patterns in nature and base our theories on them and that there is no true unrestricted form of intelligence we seek and infer that our existence is pointless and die.

4. To make us genetically immune to diseases we will devise a mechanism to inject genes from all existing species to genetically modify us to giant cockroaches (cockroaches have not evolved from thousands of years)

I guess, faith and ignorance will lead to a more stable world and only the truly intelligent can appreciate this.

What in hell is censor board doing?

I have not seen this movie but I certainly have heard about the brutality shown in the movie Shaitan. As its tagline says ‘there is a demon in every person’, are you kidding me? You mean to say we should empathise with psychopaths? I mean when normal people say that there is no black or white it only means that some people are selfish or not exactly fair, you cannot blame them for that. But promoting murder by almost saying, “Try it, it is fun” or “if you haven’t killed anyone what’s the point of living” is not acceptable by any standard and is morally and ethically wrong.

How? And I say how on Earth did this movie pass the censor board? Are they blind? That too with U/A rating…U/A RATING????? What do you want to ensure, that the movie and its message are imbibed in the mind of growing kids during the formative years of their life?

I mean I watch Dexter, the series about a compulsive killer, and I think even it has a lesser potentially bad influence on people’s minds. As if people are not justifying their bad deeds by stupid and shameless logic already, you had to make a movie stating “whatever you do is fine, illegal, criminal, anything. Luck is random and you may get away with it.”

Thanks to the pedestrian acting of the actors that the movie did not make a mark. Else I would not bet on the fact that it would not have given birth to a couple of murderers.

Trivia: there was a scene in the movie ‘Hello’ where a character asks another character to bring a condom before they engage in sex. This statement was asked to remove from the movie by the censor board.

What do you want, more population which can turn into offenders?

This is the present scene. As a child I had seen this movie ‘Raja Ki Ayegi Baraat’. It always used to haunt me. I could not figure why, perhaps my thoughts were not well developed, but I tried to remember the story and I realized it’s about a woman who gets raped by a man and asks for “justice” in the court by asking that man to marry her…and NOoooo.. this is not it.. this is just before intermission.. rest of the story revolves around how everyone in the rapist’s extended family treats her badly. And, by the way, this movie was supposed to be feministic.

I mean what worse could they show the girl gets raped and she marries the rapist to reclaim her pride in the society? AND she is a feminist.

This movie promoted gutter mentality in people, that if a woman is raped she is no more subject to any respect unless she MARRIES the guy who haunts her.

The censor boards had no qualms about passing this movie but saying the word condom was somehow unacceptable to it.

And let me assure you, this is not an isolated case, I cannot remember the names but there have been a few other movies on similar lines.

Thanks to ‘Hamara Dil Aapke Paas Hai’ a movie in which it has been shown that it is wrong that people make a girl marry the person who raped her, I had a sigh of relief when I saw this movie, that it is not a socially accepted norm and is considered disgusting by someone other than me. I distinctly remember the long monologue by Anil Kapoor where he detests such attitude.

In conclusion, I would like to say to the censor board and to everybody else who is a hypocrite: stop being one. There is no excuse for it.

Story

A few years back one of my classes was cancelled. Me and my friends were sitting in class, each minding his/her own business.

Me:(breaking the partial silence) I want to tell you guys something. But don't think I am crazy.

A: We already do.

Me: Good point.

B: Tell us now.

Me: Ya.You know I had this strange dream last night, where I was running late to reach someplace and this sexy lifeguard, who was a complete stranger, helped me reach there.

C: Big deal.

Me: No he also did me other favours.

B: *cough*

Me: No, not those kind.

C: Then?

Me: I mean I had a deadline to reach this astronomy club and they would not let me enter if I did not get there in time. He worked there so he knew how I had a shot. He played dirty to get me in.

A: Into an ASTRONOMY CLUB? Really? And why on Earth will they have stringent deadlines?

C: And what business did a lifeguard have in an astronomy club?

B: It was a dream people!

Me: No no.. Everything was logically consistent. They were flying us to some country, they had not decided yet but probably somewhere in South America.

C: For a conference or something? Wouldn't they know the venue?

Me: Nah, not a conference they were taking us to launching pads to launch us into space. Different countries were doing it at the time and they were to fly us to wherever they found vacancy. The club also taught us diving and swiming to simulate outer space conditions.

C: That explains the life guard.

Me: Yes.But you guys are missing the point here, it was strange, we had never met before and he risked his job to get me in even though it was clearly my mistake.

A: Wait, that's the part you found strange?

Me: Ya

C: Are you saying that..

Me: Thank you people for not breaking the flow of the narration.

C: But you..

B: Shhhh..Ok ok.. Go on

Me: Thank you. So I was running late and I lost my way and I asked a random guy if he knew the way and this very sexy lifeguard in a bermuda and a shirt with the club's name ,astronomy club, on it appeared out of nowhere and asked me to follow him and started running. I did exactly that. After a few minutes I checked my watch and realized I would never make it in time. We reached this building in which the club was situated on the top floor. When I told him about my concerns he asked me to shut up and climb the stairs. He stayed back.

After a couple of minutes I reached the top floor and there I met a woman who asked me to follow her. She gave me a fake boarding pass and asked me to enter directly without the security check. I had the boarding pass but no ticket. I showed it at the entrance.

The man at the entrance said something and I could not decipher it. I was like 'eh?'. Then he said "Miss Sagarika Ghosh, you know no Bengali?" I turned around and saw that everyone having a ticket showed their ticket along with the boarding pass. Although not mandatory, showing the ticket was customary. That must have made the guard suspicious. While I was looking around I happened to see the woman who had given me the Boarding pass. She gave me a signal and I ran as fast as I could from there before they put me in jail.

I waited downstairs and she joined me. I asked her why the chaos and why was she doing that for me and how did she know me. She told me her coworker Brian had asked her to do so. Then I said, "this? Why in the World would you get yourself into so much trouble for me." She started crying. She said, "As if I wanted to."

I was all arms and legs not able to grasp the situation with a crying woman in front of me.

She started speaking while still weeping. She said, "He asked me to do it. He said, "a woman will come upstairs in 5 minutes. You take the elevator, make a boarding pass with the name 'Sagarika Ghosh' and guide her to the plane." When I refused he pressed my hand against the table so hard that I could hardly bear the pain."

" I have seen him around for years now and not once have I seen him misbehave with anyone, and today he.." And she started weeping again.

We got talking and I really liked her. We even went to have icecream later. But as much as I liked her or sympathised with her for what happened, I could still not understand why that guy did that. His method was awful, no doubt.

A: that is it?

Me: Ya. Then I woke up. But still thinking of it.

B: You don't even know for sure if Brian was the lifeguard.

PS - I have realized using actual Name initials is a dead give away.

Who needs trolls when you have Taslima Nasreen

Make your own judgement.

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I have an option of an admad competition. I made an ad but I looked at the other ads they classy and pretentious (I hate it when I can't do it). I am posting my ad here anyway.

Music Controls me!!

I don't think humans can cry because they are more emotionally evolved. I think all animals in the wild who cried just got eaten up.